Healing Fictions in Your Most Intimate Relationships

This is the first of a series of blog posts designed to help you to understand how your astrological Moon drives the ebbs and tides of your everyday life as well as your most intimate relationships. This post is about healing fictions.


Each and every ‘story’ that you relate to self and others is a ‘fiction’ – at least it is a ‘fiction’ in the sense that it is your personal interpretation of your experience of an external event or series of events which may or may not correspond to the interpretation of the same event(s) by others.

These stories or fictions are not only central to life but they are also essential to our sense of ‘self’

According to James Hillman, noted Jungian psychologist and author of the acclaimed (and amazingly accessible) book Healing Fiction, coming to grips with this process of ‘fiction-making’ is healing. Not only does it promote self-acceptance but also self-understanding. This in turn gives you the chance to assert conscious control over your affairs especially in respect of your most intimate relationships.


Astrologically, your Moon is the key to this process

In the Neoplatonist cosmos, the Moon stands at the gateway of your psyche and the material world. Thus your Moon not only mediates between events, experiences, and the meaning that you ascribe to them, but it also gives you a wealth of information about the archetypes, symbols, and metaphors that inform your (inner) world.


For example, my Moon is in Gemini. My stories – or ‘fictions’ – must be light and lively. It’s only to be expected that I will embellish and embroider the facts to make it so. If there were to be dark and/or seriously scary bits,  I’ll be obliged to ignore them. It’s a given that to the extent difficult emotions are involved, I’ll avoid them like the plague.

  • However, if my Moon were in Scorpio, the scary bits and difficult emotions would be just my cup of tea; they would probably even dominate my story.
  • If my Moon were in Capricorn, my story could take on a paternalistic, moralizing tone – don’t do that again, else bad things will happen.
  • With Moon in Pisces, my story would center on my (confused) emotional response to whatever has happened.
  • But with Moon in Leo my story would center on what most flatters me.  
  • With Moon in Aquarius, my story would center around talking about how I’m feeling about something in order to avoid actually feeling.
  • If my Moon were in Aries, I’d focus on the action of who did what to whom especially when it was the result of someone’s loss of temper.
  • With Moon in Taurus, I might focus my story on how things felt to my touch and/or tasted and how this contributed (or not) to the overall experience.
  • But with Moon in Virgo, I might focus on what went wrong and how, in the future, it could be fixed.
  • If my Moon were in Cancer, I might focus on how the overall experience either strengthened or weakened my emotional connection with others.
  • However, if my Moon were in Sagittarius, I’d probably focus on the importance of what I’ve personally learned from the experience.
  • Finally, if my Moon were in Libra, I might focus on how the experience was fair (or not) to those involved.

Not only does your Moon’s sign effect your fiction-making, but also its house placement

My Moon is in the 12th house. When I sense rejection or criticism, I clam up and slip away. By contrast, if my Moon were in the 1st house, I would be so self-focused  that I wouldn’t even care if you were listening; my overwhelming need is to dominate the situation.

Finally, the aspects your Moon makes to other planets in your chart necessarily also colour your perception. For example, I have Moon square (hard aspect) to Mars. My fiction-making is often peppered with anecdotes belying my anger and frustration. Everything that I experience isn’t quite right’ – if only, if only? But if my Moon were, say, in an easy aspect (trine or sextile) with Jupiter, my story would be warmly optimistic; my default perception is that all is ‘right with the world’. But if my Moon were in a difficult aspect (square or opposition) to Jupiter, my story would be wildly unrealistic; my default perception would be that when it comes to luck, I always draw the short straw.

Now, after paying close attention to my own stories, I’m more aware of how -without conscious intervention – I’m most likely to experience any event, especially in regards to my most intimate relationships.


Say, for example, that I have an argument with my husband

With my Gemini Moon, I will automatically avoid difficult emotions. With his Scorpio Moon, my husband will automatically interpret this as purposefully ignoring his feelings. The moment he expresses criticism in this regard, I will clam up and slip away. With his Moon in his 5th house, my husband might well take pleasure in this result. This leaves me to fuss and fume (anger/frustration) in private.

But if I can accept that regardless of how I’d like to perceive the event, difficult emotions are integral and inevitable. Now, at least I am able to acknowledge such emotions exist thus allowing my husband to feel that at last, he’s been heard re: his feelings. Hopefully, this will circumvent the rest of what was once an inevitable and ever-repeating cycle.

How best can you use your stories to improve your world and relationship?


Spend some time analyzing your stories

  • Notice which character you adopt as your narrator of the story? For example, do you tell the story through your own eyes & ears or instead through the eyes & ears of someone else involved in the event/experience?
  • Notice whether you are the subject or the object of the story. For example do you say ‘I did XYZ to him’ or instead, ‘he did ABC to me’?
  • Do you sound enthusiastic when you tell the story or are you more subdued or even unhappy?
  • Which verb tense do you choose to use? For example, is everything in the past tense or do you also introduce the future tense? ‘My boyfriend dumped me but I will get even.” Maybe the story remains 100% in the present tense – ‘My boyfriends dumps me and then I say…”
  • What important themes or motifs recur or are missing from your stories? For example, do you constantly throw in certain words but not others like failure, success, temptation, resistance or luck?
  • What labels recur (good, bad, nasty, nice) and to whom or what do they attach?

Consider how best to rewrite the story/fiction so that it serves you better both now and in the future

Interestingly, there’s lots of leeway here because although story line (plot) must move forward (cause and effect) in time, narrative does not. You can start at the end of your story and how you’d have liked it to end and work backwards in time like with a typical murder mystery where we start out knowing who got killed and maybe even who did it but we don’t know all the essential ‘why’ and ‘how’ until we track back though the crucial events from beginning to end. Your goal is to open up space for a new and different story to develop – giving yourself full opportunity to fill in the gaps and ambiguities or flesh our and develop certain characters and/or motives.


Published by debramoolenaar

Formerly an American lawyer specialising in international tax, I'm now an astrologer, novelist, and aspiring life coach.

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