The Gentle Art of Persuasion

For success in any meeting or conversation, the following four steps are essential:

  1. Build rapport – the easiest way is to assume you have it already. Imagine the person in front of you is a dear old friend. The subtle changes in your approach will soon set them comfortably at ease.
  2. Know your desired outcome – be precise about what behaviour you want from the other by the end of the meeting/conversation and ensure everything said & done is aimed at bringing them to that result.
  3. Deliver a personalised hook:
    • Aries – appeal to his need to take action now.
    • Taurus – appeal to her need for simple, practical solutions.
    • Gemini – appeal to his natural curiosity.
    • Cancer – appeal to her need to feel safe & secure.
    • Leo – appeal to his need to take centre stage.
    • Virgo – appeal to her need to get it done right.
    • Libra – appeal to his need to maintain harmony.
    • Scorpio – appeal to her need to get to the bottom of things.
    • Sagittarius – appeal to his need for freedom and adventure.
    • Capricorn – appeal to her need to take responsibility and earn respect.
    • Aquarius – appeal to his need to challenge the status quo.
    • Pisces – appeal to her need to help someone.
  4. Choose your words carefully:
    • Develop ‘yes’ sets – get them on a roll with answering a series of simple questions in the affirmative and chances are they’ll keep on rolling with the same.
    • Anticipation Loops – keep them paying close attention by delivering partial explanations with a promise to later, explain in more detail.
    • Agreement Frames – everyone feels better when others agree with them so meet objections with a smile and the following phrase –  ‘I agree with you and (not but) I add
    • Awareness patterns – innocuous little words like NOTICE, REALISE, EXPERIENCE, and SEE are fantastic for slipping in ideas under the radar. For example, ‘I’m certain that you realise that XYZ happened and that means ABC.’ If they question anything, it’s more likely to be (1) whether they did realise XYZ had happened or (2) whether or not in actual fact, XYZ as portrayed is true. This leaves them much more likely to accept, as a given, whatever comes next, your real point – i.e. ABC.

Published by debramoolenaar

Formerly an American lawyer specialising in international tax, I'm now an astrologer, novelist, and aspiring life coach.

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