Sex & Lies

Ever wonder why certain relationship patterns keep repeating over and over? 

When the queen asks her magic mirror, who is the ‘fairest’ of them all, the reflection of Snow White appears rather than her own. Instantly, the queen is overcome with jealousy and vows to destroy Snow White, her rival.

Such is the stuff of fairy tales and compulsive relationships.


Whilst it is true that each and every one of our relationships is a mirror in which we see ourselves, compulsive relationships are special. At the base of every compulsive relationships is a deeply buried archetypal pattern that is demanding attention and it will continue to do so until we ‘get the picture’.


This queen cannot deal with the insecurities, which the pretty face of Snow White stirs up and so, predictably, she projects her anger onto Snow White. This plunges them both into an archetypal dynamic of destruction and renewal. It is interesting to note that in the original (unsanitized) tale, the queen was not the step-mother of Snow White but her real mother, who intended to eat her daughter’s heart to boost her own power.

Her mother’s treachery serves as Snow White’s initiation to adulthood (her father being noticeably absent). When Snow White gives in to the temptation to eat the apple (fruit of the tree of knowledge and sacred symbol of Venus, Goddess of Love), her child ‘self’ dies and there is a period of dormancy and mourning before she can move forward in life again.


By the end of the story (in the original version), Snow White marries a prince and as the new queen, behaves as badly as her mother. We have come full circle as the new queen forces the old queen to dance herself to death wearing re-hot iron shoes.


Some years ago, I was trapped in a compulsive relationship with an older woman. She was my boss. Her Chiron was in close contact with my Mar/Venus conjunction and set off my Moon square Mars; we ‘enjoyed’ mutual Mars/Uranus synastry contacts. My passion was aroused; such desires I’ve never known before or after. Scared, I took the moral high ground and played Snow White to her Wicked Witch.

At last, it dawned on me that we were acting just like me and my mother. But this time, no longer a child, I made my escape straight from the pan into the fire. 

Although this relationship with my boss had put me in touch with my long suppressed anger and thwarted ambition ( a holdover from my relationship with my mother), another woman, (my new boss) came along and made it clear to me that I had, as yet, no idea how to use it. 


If you could use some help getting to grips with your compulsive relationship patterns, book a complimentary ½ hour slot in my calendar to explore how we might work together.

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