Relationships are hard work.
Part of the reason for this is the psychological phenomena known as projection, an automatic process where the contents of your own unconscious is perceived to be in others.
For example, if you’re angry at someone but for a variety of reasons, can’t express it, you might ‘project’ your anger onto that other person and then be surprised when you end up the victim of his or her aggression.
There are typical places in your natal, or birth chart, that are ripe for projection, most notably planets in your 7th house (house of partnerships, intimate and business). For example, consider a woman with Venus (symbolizing that which she values) in her 7th house. It would not be unexpected to hear her say that she leaves important decisions to her husband because she’s unsure what she really wants.
The tell-tale signs of projection include strong and uncomfortable (or fearful) reactions to someone or something – an extra emotional charge that seems out of proportion in the situation. Such reactions may have a luminous or amorphous quality i.e. they just don’t make sense – rather like falling in love, which apparently itself is a projection.
Another problem with relationships is that people get to know the other’s ‘buttons’ and ‘press’ them at will. Equally, they can press these buttons unwittingly and be angry and confused with the reaction of their partner was not at all what they intended. Astrologically, we can zoom in on these buttons using what we call synastry that compares close aspects formed between your natal chart and that of another.
For example, if your Venus were to form a tight aspect to your partner’s Saturn, then every time you express your innate charm and grace, it would annoy him. You’d compensate by being even more charming and he’d up the ante with being cold and rejecting. Over time, this develops into a recognisable pattern that seems to take on a life of its own.
We can even create a brand new third chart, or composite chart, that reflects your relationship as if it were a separate entity unto itself. This is different than synastry (as discussed above) which looks at how each of you impact the other. Instead, the composite chart represents the relationship as a whole, giving insight into the dynamics upon which that relationship will function.
For example, with Moon/Uranus contacts in your composite chart, your relationship is likely to create more excitement than stability. With Moon/Saturn contacts, you’ll probably have trouble communicating with each other at a feeling level. But with Moon/Mars, strong feelings will come easier albeit with a double-edged effect. Moon/Mercury will make communications about your feelings easy, albeit in a detached and rational way. But if you have Moon/Pluto contacts, the sheer intensity of the bond between the two of you make often make it too ‘hot’ to handle.
If you’re interested in learning more about dynamics underlying your most important relationship, why not take advantage of this special February offer?
Special Relationship Offer through 28 February
Explore the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. If you have the birth date, time and place of your partner/lover, all the better but even if you don’t, there’s still plenty to learn in this special 1 ½ hour session.