Recent studies show that the stories we tell ourselves become so enmeshed with our cognitive functions, that they – and not any accurate assessment of actual experience –  underpin 80% of our actions.

images.pngAccording to ‘attachment theory’, the majority of these stories are formed during infancy, when we are first bonding with ‘mother’. Not only are our stories archetypal in nature (i.e. common to all humankind), but they are so deeply imbedded in our psyches that, without us even realising it, they play out over and over again. Worse, these stories are so important to our perceived safety, that they engender a whole host of defence mechanisms.

Narrative coaching provides a safe space for clients to revisit their stories – to understand how they impact their lives. Once this is process is underway, clients can rewrite their stories and/or create alternative stories – stories, which are specifically framed to promote happier, more unified lives.

Astrology can speed up this process.

For example, your rising sign and its rulers, symbolise how you’re most likely to frame your worldview. I have Cancer rising and so I tend to frame my world through emotional experiences.  It would help if I were able to more easily get in touch with my emotions but my Moon (ruler of Cancer) is in Gemini where relates not through feelings but through ideas. Indeed, taken as a whole, my chart suggests that once activated, my emotions are a loose cannon on deck. Worse, this is odds with who I essentially am (i.e. rational and balanced) as shown by my Sun (in Libra).

Frustration and anger (my Moon is in square aspect to Mars) are the result and I will admit that I have a tendency to remain emotionally isolated from others just in case (as I thoroughly expect) all goes wrong. I can further relate that my personal experience with ‘mother’ as an infant was similarly frustrated. It took years for me to understand how deeply frustrated and angry she was with my very existence. There are reasons that I was an only child.

Whenever I’m trying to get emotionally close to someone, my habitual narrative pattern of anger and frustration kicks in. Little surprise (that just as I expected) their reciprocal anger and frustration keeps us from forming a bond. Sadly, I will keep re-enacting my same story again and again until I can gain enough distance and perspective to rewrite it.

For example, I might ask how I’d like my new story to end. Assuming that it is in increased intimacy rather than in a fight, then I’ll ask myself what kind of person would enjoy such a happy ending and how might that person differ from me? The point is that although I will never be able to make my Moon/Mars and Cancer Ascendant go away, once I learn how they are running the show, I can purposefully find healthier and more satisfying ways to express them.

 

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