We tell stories to make sense of our world.
Sometimes these stories serve us well and sometimes, they don’t.
Narrative coaching provides time and space to examine your stories in detail, especially with regards to how they relate to your issues and goals. By adding astrology to the narrative coaching model mix, you can more quickly get to grips with how your stories impact your life.
For example, last night at dinner my husband mad a remark about wanting white wine instead of red. Since I’d planned both the meal and the wine with care, I took this as his being snarky. Feeling attacked and unappreciated, I lashed out at him and not surprisingly, he returned the favour. I would rather have enjoyed that meal together instead eating in silence, nursing recriminations.
Assuming (as he later claimed) that he’d not meant to attack either me or the meal, then what had made me hear his words in that way? Worse, why had I escalated an already volatile situation? It all happened in a split-second! I didn’t have time to think.
Luckily, however, I do now.
And the first thing I think about is my natal Mercury.
Astrologically, Mercury is the agent for communication. My Mercury is in Libra, the zodiac sign associated with partnership. So, whenever anyone says anything to me, my first impulse is to convert whatever was said as having to do with ‘our’ relationship.
Because Venus is the natural ruler of Libra, she is also implicated in all this. My Venus is in Virgo. OK, so it’s true that I am constantly analysing all my relationships. Dissect and analyse is what Virgos do. Virgo is fussy and insists on everything being ‘just so’. With Virgo and Libra together, the story I am most likely to tell myself about all my relationships that if everything isn’t perfect then something must be wrong.
Now, it only makes sense that if I’m always looking for a problem then eventually, I’ll find one. Little wonder the moment that I hear anything said that could be taken as a criticism, I seize upon it with relish. When that happens, then without even thinking, my Mars (astrological agent for self-defence) is engaged and because my Mars is also in Virgo, I lash out with a criticism of my own. All this is trigger-happy, unconscious response to something that in and of itself should have little meaning. But the key point here is that I have assigned both meaning and value to it and that is because of my Mercury and Venus.
Could I reframe my story re: relationships so that I don’t react like this in the future?
That’s what narrative coaching is all about.
I’ll need to think about how this will work in my situation, but my guess is that it will have something to do with the signs opposite to Libra and Virgo – after all, they would be the natural balance – much like the balance that can be achieved by two sides of a see-saw.